Guest Post: The BFF's Solution to Our Biggest Problems, Pt I

[Editor's Note: The BFF and I both have a lot of "theories" and "ideas" about what would make the world a better place. The following is just a taste of her genius. You're welcome.]

If I wasn’t so busy with a full schedule of drinking and being skechy then I would probably be running a campaign to be New York’s next mayor. Yeah, I can see your eyes rolling now, ASS. Check yourself.

I wouldn’t change much about this DAMN AWESOME city, but there’s one thing that has consistently pissed me off…all of the ambulance sounds.

Every 5 seconds I hear that ‘WAHWAH’ crap. I’m sick of it. So I’m going to do something about it.

As your next mayor I would vow to swap out this ‘WAHWAH’ nonsense and go with a more sophisticated alerting sound. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, I’m talking about the merry music of casino slot machines. Nothing says ‘hey bitch get out the way’ like the sound of sweet coin falling into some old fat lady’s lap.

Dude, if I were racing down Broadway in a wahmbulance I’d be freaking out. On the other hand, if I was in the ca'chingbulance I’d be planning my next weekend in Atlantic City. And we all know that making plans for the future is a sure sign that everything’s gonna be alright.
Happy Friday.
 
In a related story, we both really want to go back to Atlantic City this fall. Any takers?