You Know You'd Watch This Show

So here are the facts:

Fact #1: Even though our world connectivity continues to expand exponentially by the millisecond, we seem to be losing the ability to create relationships with those we're most compatible with or who we're most attracted to. There's just too many people in the bandwidth. Yes, we can replace the physical introductions with online dating, but I'm still holding out hope to meet The One through a fairy tale story in the same vein as my parents (e.g. good ol' fashioned in-person stalking.)

Fact #2: We're obsessed with other people's lives. Especially as it relates to the aforementioned relationship developments.

Fact #3: The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows are popular. People love that shiz. There are countless websites dedicated to recaps, including this funny one, and articles dissecting their relevance.

Fact #4: Those shows suck. Everyone is either a fameball, a closeted gay, a lush, or all three. Plus the fact that people from opposite sides of the country from two different worlds are paired together is a recipe for disaster. Even if they make a good couple, they're kept apart for months while the show airs. Distance, in this case, does not make the heart grow fonder.

Fact #5: Competition has a time and a place. If I were on the Bachelor, obv I'd try to fall in love with the guy just to beat the other girls even though if he was a total dbag. Plus seeing your Future Husband flirting in front of your face with a hoard of skanks doesn't really help the CGS.

Now that we're all on the same page, I have a 100% self-serving idea for a new dating show.

Here is the premise:

Every day on my commute, I pass by approximately 20 cute, wedding-ring-less guys I would totally go on a date with. Unfortunately, within a blink of the eye, these potential Future Husbands are out of my life forever. Why, cruel world, why?

I've already complained about the social awkwardness that would arise from me trying to break the ice on my own. I need an intermediary. (Someone who is no not my wanna-be wingwoman mom, The Friendliest Woman on Earth, who is always trying to get me to hit on randoms.)

If there was a dating show in a big city - cough cough New York - that sent out producers to scout well-trafficked areas - cough cough Grand Central Station at rush hour - where the girl could spot guys on the camera footage she wanted the producer to stop, who would then be the one looking like an awkward jackass.

When you meet a stranger, what do you need to know right off the bat? Here are a few of the majors:

• Are you in a relationship?
• Do you have kids?
• Are you yourself a kid? (Gotta keep an eye out for those summer interns who happen to be impressively good looking!)
• Do you live conveniently within the radius the contestant is willing to travel?

From there the show would follow dates with the top three candidates. And, no, I'm not talking about the super skeezy/cheezy late-night dating show dates like Blind Date or 5th Wheel (if you've ever seen these shows, it makes you root for humanity to go extinct.) Or the crazy elaborate, castle-based fairy princess set-up a la Bachelorette.

Normal dates with normal people who might actually end up together. It's so normal it might be refreshing.

And why would I be a good contestant? I'm capable of being charming and witty (I mean, if they serve us wine.) But if it's a total trainwreck, then you could watch it instead of having to read about it on The Internet. (Too bad the Mafia date wasn't on camera. It was classic.)

Even if no real TV network is interested, I can always make The BFF go out and record nd interview a bunch of hotties with her new iphone camera. Sadly, that's not the creepiest thing we've ever done.