What I Want for My Bday

I grew up in a family that puts top-notch energy into celebrating birthdays. It's awesome. But the older I get - and the farther away I wake up from mom-decorated rooms full of birthday banners and flowers - the more I have to force myself to temper my birthday expectations. It is hard. I am a Birthday Monster.

To get the celebration started early in her physical absence, my mom sent gorgeous roses to my office yesterday. Yay. I'd take a picture, but my camera phone is jacked. Ugh white-girl problems.

They came with a card that said "August belongs to you, stretch it out!"

Enabler.

When she called to ask for my work address, she also inquired about what I wanted for my birthday. I suggested a puppy. She suggested cash. I accepted her counter offer.

In a lot of ways, getting cash is like getting a puppy. I can be equally irresponsible with both. I can use both to gain attention for myself. I can snuggle with them both on the couch. Oh wait.

But ca$h isn't the only thing on my list. What I really want is a Birthday Crush. This time last year I was juggling a full roster of guys, all with potential. As it turned out, it was a common potential for disappointment.

But at least they were entertaining. The ForeignJO was the most beautiful man who will ever ask for my number. He met me out on my Birthday Eve. The next night, after a great birthday dinner with friends, the FH 2.0 came and met me too.

Where am I now? No man's land. Literally. There are no men.

My idea of summer romance has been chained down by realism and indifference. No one in this time zone has caught my fancy enough for me to make an effort.

I want to change, I really do. Not liking someone is so boring. I want to have a cute, romantic song come on shuffle and get butterflies, not want to vomit. I want to be excited about something.  I want to give a damn about someone.

I don't necessarily even need a boyfriend. I could settle for a Boyfriend Experience (not in a gigolo way, in a male version of DYFU's girlfriend experience explanation).

Perhaps, though, I'll get that soon. I have a post-birthday trip planned that has potential. More on that later.

In the mean time, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. (Officially on Sunday but since I always do what my mom tells me, I'm stretching it out.)

(And if you think I'm being obnoxious, then you have no idea how bad it can get in real life. Just ask The BFF.)