The Perks of a Fake Relationship: Another Dating Company That's Better In Theory

The BFF and I have both complained that one of the crappiest parts about being single is losing your go-to text buddy. I mean, sure we have each other, but I don't think either of us would tolerate constant "what are you up to? i miss you" texts. Although I did get something similar to that from her today due to my lack of gchat presence this week, but whatever that's different.

Thank goodness, though, that someone came up with a company that will send you texts now that you are going to die alone. If you're interested, you can also get sent flowers, chocolates, and self-respect. Just kidding about that last offering!

Ranging from $14 to over $400, Pink Kisses - yes that's seriously its name - will give you a reason to live. According to them, they're a "hot new company offering all sorts of fun & feisty products and services to get girls over heartbreak in style."

To check it out, I took advantage of the free online "gifts" you can send to your friends. If you send anyone these, make sure to give them a heads up because the address it comes from is luv@pinkkisses.com with the subject line "You've been kissed." Aka it will be sent directly to her viagra-sale-filled junk mail folder.

You can make yourself motivating pin-ups:

I feel better about my singledom already, biatch!

As well as digitally burn pictures of your ex.

I felt too awkward doing it to someone who had actually destroyed my heart, so I went with The Situation. The fact that he's making tons o' money right now is pretty heartbreaking so I figured he was a good choice.

Refreshingly therapeutic.

Girl, I say save your money for the Flipper dating site if you're looking to move on, but maybe that's just me and my wild desires to interact with the hottie who I keep running into in my work elevator.

On second thought, giving him one of those cards would be far more embarrassing than my current tactic of awkwardly commenting on stories shown on the elevator's Captivate TV. Nothing breaks the ice like tragic deaths and falling stock markets, am I right?

Happy kisses!