Guest Post: The Fade Out

More genius insight from The BFF:

There comes a time in every budding relationship when you ask yourself, “Is this person really what I’m looking for? Yes, he’s x,y,z, but I need some a,b,c as well, and his t, u, v is starting to creep me out. No, this will not do.” This is when you should begin the process Rachel and I lovingly refer to as ‘The Fade Out.’ Sounds harsh, but doesn’t it seem harsher to have a formal ‘break up’ with someone you’ve met 3 times?!

Here’s how it’ll all go down:

1. Boy will call girl.

2. Girl will not answer.

3. Boy will leave Girl voicemail.

4. Girl will not listen to voicemail (most likely deletes it.)

5. Girl hopes that that’s the end of that.

6. However Boy waits 4 days.

7. Boy sends a ‘let’s get together soon’ text.

8. If Girl is nice she’ll say sorry she didn’t call you back.

9. Girl will be lying.

10. Girl will then say she has a bunch of plans already this week. (oMg life my is so HECTIC right now!)

11. Boy will say ‘okay then let’s do something the week after then.’

12. Girl cries herself to sleep because Boy just doesn’t get it.

13. Eventually Girl mans up and ignores all of Boy's outreach.

And you KNOW Boys do “The Fade Out” to Girls. This will be hard to believe but I’ve had 2 idiots use it on me. One apparently now twirls fire for a living and the other uses tanning beds and owns man jewelry…SO REALLY NO LOSS TO ME.

Now I’m going to put this out there and don’t be surprised if I end up receiving the Nobel Peace Prize or some other prestigious award in the near future:

Let’s cease contact after that gd voicemail. If you don’t hear from the person you called, just move on. Girl will get back to you if she wants to.

And if you have a real life example of a relationship blossoming because of incessant pestering THEN GO AHEAD AND TELL YOUR STORY, BUT I GUARANTEE THERE WON’T BE ANY.

That is all.

[Ed. note: The BFF is forgetting about the ease of the Fade Out when you have a blog! Woo!]