Nothing embarrassing has happened to me in like half a day so obviously I was due.
After work on Wednesday, I met my friend Ashley and her parents, who were in town, for a drink. But not before I managed to scarf down an entire sandwich. By sandwich, I mean a five dollar footlong. I am a cheap fatass, what can I say?
So after catching up with them, the "I'm not going to make it to the gym for the rest of the week" guilt set it. Having had that entire loaf of bread soak up my cocktail booze, I made the decision to get in a little cardio before I went home.
Of course the minute I got into the locker room I discovered that I didn't pack a t-shirt, only a sports bra. I figured what the hell, the gym is fairly empty, only a few people will be offended by my half-nakedness, and I can get over the personal self-loathing of being that dbag who should be wearing a shirt but isn't.
When I was done, I justified that it was already dark outside, might as well just walk home as-is instead of putting back on my work dress.
Half way back to my apartment, who do I see approaching me? None other than The BFF's ping pong nemesis slash The Worst Person Ever.
GAHHHHHHHHH EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE. Why, universe, why do you have to be so cruel? Of all the 8.4 million people...
Luckily he didn't verbally judge me for looking like I was pregnant with a food baby, and I didn't bring up the fact I purposefully didn't return any of his calls.
Ugh, I hope I still have the upper hand. Update: He just texted me. Still have it.
Then, another block later, I ran into a guy friend who lives on our street, but who I never see. Because, of course, I was just thinking to myself "the more the merrier in the case of awkward, shirtless small talk!"
Seriously, what gives?
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