Oh College, How I Miss Thee

To continue sharing what I've learned about kids these days and waxing poetic about not peaking in earlier stages of life, today I bring you The College Years.

First of all, let me start by saying that the college years of any TV show are always super whack. Like they were the same, but different, always forcing you to ask questions, for instance, how did you and all your best friends end up at the same place? Why are yall still hanging out? Why aren't you completing all your hopes and dreams you talked non-stop about in high school? Why are you falling to the pressures you were previously so against?

Oh, did I mean sitcom college years, or my own college experience? As I've mentioned, The BFF, S and I have known each other since 6th grade. And we all went to college together. Really branched out of the trust tree nest, didn't we. Although, in our defense, we all managed to add our own respective casts of supporting characters during our time at Playboy's No. 1 Party School in America.

The list was determined by Playboy's editors, with help from the magazine's campus representatives, models [obviously me], photographers, online voters and student readers.

Here is where I digress into a full-on burnt orange love fest. The University of Texas rules at everything (when shoulders aren't hurt in the first drive) and was the best college experience I could have asked for. Whenever I go home, I lurve going around that area of town and reminiscing (except so much has changed! why oh why!). Don't worry, I still have lots of UT family connections who are around campus so it's less creepy and stalkerish than it sounds. Maybe. Also, I'm so jealous of my younger cousins/siblings for still being there. Wah wah, I'm an adult.

In hindsight, perhaps maybe I should have spent more time working toward some illustrious professional dream, catapulting myself into future success. Really dropped the ball on that one, but let's be honest, I did my fair share to help the school become No. 1 in Awesomeness while I was there, and really that's sort of a reward in itself...

Anyway, apparently in the few years that I've been gone, students like this girl at Vanderbilt are taking a stand against typical co-ed debauchery. She's done with "raging" and "hooking up," even though the "hook-up culture can be hard to avoid... and the Greek scene also can create more pressure to hook up." Duh.

Thankfully CNN helps clarify age-old questions about what the term "hooking up" really means: "usually defined as a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a make-out session all the way to sex. Other lingo for the no-commitment sexual encounters are "booty calls" or "friends with benefits."

Oh wait, that was the least helpful definition ever.

Sweet Frannie Boyle is upset and embarrassed about her behavior freshman year where "after consuming large quantities of alcohol before a party, her night would sometimes end in making out with a stranger or acquaintance."

Oh Frannie, who could you!? Ha haaa just kidding, no judgment from me.

The article continues, "Casual hook ups fueled by alcohol may be the norm across college campuses, but Boyle, now a 21-year-old junior at the school, chose to stop. Her reasons to quit hooking up echo the emotional devastation of many college students, particularly girls whose hearts are broken by the hook-up scene."

Don't take it personally, Frannie, the boys you were hooking up with are most definitely imbeciles. They're 18 year old guys who are still babies, and OMG being in a frat does not help the situation, what do you expect? She's also upset because hooking-up has replaced dating. Well, let me tell you a little secret, Frannie, your idea of dating isn't going to happen in college. Ever. If you're looking to go on real-life dates, you better look else where than "at Vanderbilt University, a pristine campus defined by elegant, Southern-style architecture and manicured lawns." I'm sorry, what was that reporting, CNN?

My favorite part of the article, besides how the entire thing that made me feel old and also sad for media outlets reporting on this uber important trend called OMG IT'S COLLEGE AND THIS IS NOT NEW, is the description of day parties.

"Boyle explained the warm weather compels some students to engage in "day fratting," imbibing for hours in the front yard of a fraternity. Day fratting can result in "afternoon delight," noncommittal physical activity between two people that can include casual sex."

Ahhh glorious day parties. And, in defense of No. 1 Party Schools, I've never heard anyone use the phrase "afternoon delight" - it's muy creepy.

I leave you with this walk down memory lane, although sadly most of my favorite pictures are only available in hard copy [Note: one of the BEST parts about college was T.O.P.S - Take Our Picture - party photographers who helped document all that times you don't remember and sell it back to you for $2.50ish a pop. I have over $400 worth of memories stored at home in all there amazing glory.]

P dot S: Spoiler alert - I may have peaked in college. (At least in the fun department). Also I'm clearly very photogenic, especially when making weird faces which is a consistent college theme apparently.