If you're my friend in New York, there is a guarantee you had to listen to me bitch about my previous living situation. Again, I'm sorry. Thank goodness, though, those days are behind us, and it could not feel any better.
Coming home to a house of hate is horrible, as you can imagine. Although it wasn't always horrible for the two years we called that apartment home, the last year was fairly unbearable.
The first year began with us living with Kris (named changed to a more hilariously feminine spelling). Having been raised with two younger brothers, the thought of living with a guy didn't really worry me. But having spent the past four years living with girls (in particular very, very tidy and clean girls) ruined me. Kris was the filthiest guy I've ever met. Like, it makes me cry thinking about how bad he was.
Not only did he never lift a finger around the apartment "because he was never there," on a regular basis he would come home drunk from happy hour(s) and eat my food. It was not uncommon to walk into the living room to find tell-tale remnants of my string cheese having been consumed by his inconsiderate self. He would also help himself to my laptop since his was broken. He said it was for Fantasy Football. One night after drinking Fantasy Football apparently turned into other fantasy sites, which led to his immediate priveledge revocation.
Kris and I went from being fairly good friends to enemies and back all within the course of his 11 months in the apartment. He was the one who got us involved in the Hamptons share house, and the one to get me personally involved with WBDB in addition to a few other friends. It turned out he didn't really appreciate his friends liking me, slightly understandable once I was out of the situation.
All in all, he was a good guy. A guy who living with made you hate him. No ill will harbored against him though. He moved out a month early to live with a friend, and I've only randomly run into him a few times.
Along with Kris, we spent the first few months with another guy, Wes. Now Wes was the ultimate roommate who no other roommate ever lived up to. He was young (an 18 freshman baby), super fun and outgoing, and all around fabulous. He was rarely home because he was always donig stuff (better than us), and when he was, he was helpful. Wes, swoon.
Sadly, though, the reason Wes was living with us was because Brandi (named changed so she doesn't sue me and/or do something else super aggressive to prove a point, per usual) had to sublet her room in the apartment for a few months while she got out of her other lease.
See, Brandi had broken up with her live-in boyfriend of five years. She just had to get out ASAP. Although I frequently admit that IAAB, I will also admit that I'm very easily taken by people's stories. I am not a sucker necessarily, just fairly gullable when it comes to hoping the best about people.
Brandi was an actress with a day job. So, let's take a moment to recount the situation properly: dramatic person who had just broken up with a guy she'd been dating since college, jumping into a random living situation she could not afford with her current rent.
Now, The BFF deserves full credit for realizing this as a potentially disastrous equation right off the bat. But as I mentioned here, we were in dire need of figuring out a housing arrangement, like yesterday. So we just all jumped in, totally blind.
Anyway, even before Brandi moved in, there were issues. Like crazy bitch email issues. So needless to say we were already concerned before her shit arrived in our home.
Things that first year were up and down. We had Kris as a scapegoat for many of our issues (e.g. disgusting bathroom, general lack of contribution to apartment), but The BFF and I were worried how things would go once he moved out since Brandi made it clear she would not be leaving.
We had to figure out what we would do, but considering it was fat in the middle of the World is Ending Economic Mess, neither of us wanted to rock the boat with a new lease and additional moving expenses.
So again we turned to The Worst Roommate Finder Ever, otherwise known as Craigslist. Now, I have plenty of friends who have had decent/good experiences using Craigslist. I am cursed, however, so I can't say this story gets better.
With only a few weeks to figure out what to do, we made an ad and interviewed a few people. Unfortunately none of them were desirable. Then we got a response from a girl, who lived in Texas! OMFG! New BFF! How exciting!
Seriously, we were pumped. A fellow Texan moving to the big city to Live the Dream!
I tried. I really tried. If you're one of the people I used as part of my attempt, then thank you for taking one for the team. The phrase "socially awkward" does not come close to explaining Ruby (named changed).
I won't get into details, but she drove us insane. Once, soon after she moved, she name-dropped Robert Pattinson so much that The BFF's boyfriend asked if he were her boyfriend (clearly 28-year-old FJOs are not RPatz' target demographic). She ruined Twighlight for me.
She also name-dropped another guy, who we were told had been her boyfriend. As more and more details of stories came out, we learned that wasn't exactly the case. The over-exaggeration in addition the immaturity of everything else gave her a maturity of about 12 years old.
She was the kind of person who would repeat things you had said to sound cool. She would interrupt conversations to ask to play Truth or Dare. At bars. For no reason.
At first she was sweet, and then soon after she became a bitch toward me. Whatever, by that point I had made my attempt at friendship and I was back-peddaling as fast as possible. My mental health would not allow
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