Advice for a Friend: STOP CARING.

The BFF and I have another friend we've known since middle school - we shall call her S - a third amigo, musketeer, etc., who currently (sadly) lives half way across the country while attending law school. Last night she called me for my "sage dating wisdom," and after talking for a little bit, I had to get off the phone in order to salvage my dinner in the oven, but I promised to call her back. Then I got sidetracked by eating, showering, seeing something shiny, followed by The BFF gashing her finger while cooking. Having just watched a contestant on competitive food porn show Chopped do this, I quickly helped her bandage it back up so she could finish the meal in record time. Seriously, this Food Network addiction is intense.

So, that is a long way of saying "S, I'm sorry for not calling you back."

I also decided that I needed to write this in bold print so she can read it and re-read it if necessary:

MAKE YOURSELF STOP CARING. HE SUCKS.

You see, the big downfall of S is that she's too freakin' nice. You ask, "Can that be a problem?" Yes, yes it can be when you allow unworthy people to take advantage of your generosity and awesomeness. Case in point, S was involved with someone - who people might describe as a "loser" - on and off all through high school (and, let's be honest, part of college). While deep-down inside he is a nice person, he did not deserve 1/1000th of the kindness she showed him. At one point I got so enraged by their relationship that I lectured him that he "did not deserve to breathe the same oxygen as her." I don't really know what oxygen he should be breathing, but not hers, so whatever not my problem.

Fast forward past additional guys who I could have also given the same lecture to, and then we reach High School Boyfriend 2.0, the guy she briefly dated last summer. The BFF and I met him while on a trip to visit her, and wow we were shocked that she managed to find the same guy AGAIN! In a different state! (He only gets the 2.0 label because he is enrolled in law school, and not working as a waiter slash boat driver.) Nooooooo, you're smarter than that, S!!! You're better than that. And you're going to be a lawyer!

Anyway, he ended things with her because he sucks (I'm not just saying that as a judgy friend, it is based on multiple accounts from others too), but they're forced to continue interacting because they work and have classes together.

She is upset because he has been semi-secretly talking to one of her friends - who happens to have a poor track record for being a dumb, well for a lack of a better word, slut - and now they're allegedly "getting serious." While S is over him, she doesn't have another source for her emotional energy therefore this has upset her.

I REPEAT: YOU CAN'T LET YOURSELF CARE ABOUT THIS.

While I've definitely had some serious CGS moments in my life, I truly believe that ever since defeating the biggest source of CGS in my life - the HS Crush - junior year of high school, I've been way better than I could have been.

HS Crush was a source of flirtation irritation. One second he would pay attention to me (typically the second I got a boyfriend), the next minute he would ignore me (the minute I was single and ready for something to happen). It was a vicious cycle that tested my patience to the millionth degree. Even though we were friends, I knew he had to become "dead" to me in order to get over him and move on.

And, sweet S, that's what you have to do too. I know, I know, you cannot avoid him, but for the 1,000th time - CUT HIM OFF. Don't let him take advantage of your friendship because it will only upset you. Don't be rude, just become indifferent.

Yes, this won't happen over night, but if you start acting indifferent it will eventually lead to you becoming indifferent, wherein you will stop caring about this jackass and be happier.

You will find someone who truly deserves you (or maybe you already have, cough cough, you know who I'm talking about.) But in the meantime, stop mentally and emotionally exhausting yourself over this situation because it will get you nowhere. And you have more important things to worry about, like for instance, planning a trip to visit our new, awesome apartment in New York.
Love,
Rach

P dot S - A story that has no real point but I cannot stop myself from sharing:

S had a cat in Austin and procured another when she moved. The BFF and I could not - for all the money in the world - remember the new cat's name before we went to visit.

The BFF: "I think her name is Mrs. Beatrice."

Me: "That is 100% not her name."

The BFF: "Are you sure? I really think it could be."

We later found out that the cat's name was in fact, not Mrs. Beatrice. It was Stimpy. And she is, allegedly, a he.

But, after meeting the cat, we found this totally unfitting (and unacceptable).

Forever on, her name is Mrs. B. And she's very photogenic.

Superior cat photography brought to you by the talented BFF. Please inquire within about any pet photographic needs you might have - her rates are very reasonable as this is her passion.