My Summer was Better Than Yours

The time has come for the return of the most amazing fictional cougar bait of all time. Chuck Bass. He is charming, smarmy and rich. He is arrogant, pompous and hot. He is the perfect villain you can’t help but love. I am clearly obsessed.

Allegedly, though, Gossip Girl might not actually be real life. And Ed Westwick isn’t actually Chuck Bass.

Allegedly.

I know it might be hard to believe, but sometimes I live in my own little world. And this is one of those times. So when I’ve seen Chuck Bass (Ed) twice this summer, instead of acting with a modicum of cool, collected indifference that would be my typical response to most celebrity sightings, I’ve turned into what I assume is the equivalent of a tween Jonas Brothers fan.

Awk-ward.

The first interaction occurred during one of the most random nights of my life. My friend Lauren was in town and, after dinner, I decided I just really needed to get a giant Tasty D waffle cone before heading to a bar to meet her friend. Totally necessary after a giant Italian dinner... Anyway, I suggested we walk around the park while I finished my treat, and we noticed a few barricades and a couple of paparazzi loitering outside the Gramercy Park Hotel.

So since Lauren is known for her gregarious nature (in addition to her super sweet dance moves, her amazing acting skills, and her fantastic taste in sunglasses), the two of us proceeded to talk up a few paparazzi. You must learn to take advantage of life lesson opportunities when they arise - like learning the inter-workings of the biz. Or that if a fat Puerto Rican paparazzo wants to get your digits he probably doesn’t want to be your platonic friend.


Anyway, rapid fire questions steadily shot out of our mouths for almost an hour.

- “Who is the biggest bitch you’ve ever photographed?” – Jennifer Aniston

- “Do you have any problem taking pictures of people’s kids? Do you have any sort of moral compass?” – No, No

- “What do you think of Spencer Pratt?” – He would let you have sex with Heidi if you got them on the cover of a magazine

During our interrogation session we also learned that the cast of GG (in addition to a bunch of CW shows I don’t really know/care about) were at a network event inside.

OMFG.

So clearly we could not leave. Also another important life lesson we learned the hard way - watching not-really-quite-famous people awkwardly walk out in front of paparazzi only for no one to know if they’re important enough to be photographed = beyond painful. Train wreck painful.

But it was worth it. Because I had this amazing encounter:

Me: OMG ED WESTWICK!!!! CAN I GET A PICTURE????
Ed: [blank stare] - [awkward (or scared) smile]
Ed: [running to waiting town car with VANESSA (probably headed to Brooklyn to do some sort of protesting!!)]
Lauren: OMG I didn’t know you were capable of reaching that decibel. That could not have been more awkward.

It didn’t matter. I had made eye contact with Chuck Bass.

The second encounter took place at Tenjune. Chuck...I mean Ed… left the VIP area to make a request at the DJ booth. My friend in town, who ridiculously doesn’t watch GG!?!?, pointed him out to me. He was wearing a green plaid suit and a white fedora. So Chuck.

As I creepily stared him down, he passed me on the way back to his table. And do you know what I did? I grazed his back.

What did you do this summer? I made eye contact AND touched Chuck Bass.

It's the little things in life.