IAAB Karma

Sometimes there is no guilt related to turning someone down. Like My New Haircut guys at the club reeking of jager bombs who come up to you with some lame line. Or sketchy guys on the street who whisper totally inappropriate come-ons as they walk past you. Like the time my friend Ash was summoned by an official MTA employee - a bus driver on his bus! - to come over so he could hit on her. Ew.

But I am a bitch (IAAB), and occasionally a nice guy will make an effort with me, and for whatever reason I'm not feeling it, I will reject him. Clearly I'm no stranger to rejection, I've been there. It feels terrible.


So what do you do about it? How do you let them down easy? I've been faced with back-to-back situations where a little grace in this department could go a long way.

One instance involved me - hungover and on a shopping mission - and a random, probably very nice human being at Best Buy. As per my usual hungover state of unabashed interest in awkwardly talking to strangers, I started chatting with him. And apparently this guy found Hungover Rachel endearing. As he was from out of town, he asked me if I knew any good lunch spots in the neighborhood. My suggestion was followed by his suggestion that I accompany him. However, having already consumed my body's weight in Chipotle, there was no way. "How about coffee instead?" he asked. Clearly he does not understand booze is always the next option. Otherwise us getting to know each other would be the equivalent of a job interview.

Unfortunately for the potential fairy tale scenario of two strangers locking eyes over cheap netbooks, I was a) not interested and b) not in the mood to play babysitter. Like I said, IAAB.

I shot him down, left immediately after making my purchase, and subsequently destroyed his opinion of New York. Just kidding...

Now, spring forward to today. A very nice acquaintance who I ran into recently sent me an email asking me out this weekend. EITHER Friday dinner or Saturday brunch. Tricky tricky. Although The BFF pointed out that perhaps agreeing to go out with an actual nice human being might be a good change of pace and possibly even lead to an actual healthy relationship - the answer is no, not going to happen. I am just not interested.

So, now how do I defuse this situation? And no, honesty is not a policy I feel comfortable using in this scenario.

Is it wrong to say I'm seeing someone? Maybe I can just send him the link to this blog and say no one in their right mind would want to date me? Maybe I can be out of town and/or busy forever.

Whatever I pull, I will have bad karma. Forever. Because IAAB.