Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Things I Should Keep To My Self (But Clearly I'm Not Going To)

  • Within a matter of weeks, I have became a cat person. I KNOW, I KNOW. Like to the point where I talk out loud to them, and not just in a nagging "STOP WITH THE WATER BOWL!" kind of way. Like "Hi cats, bye cats, what are you up to, cats?" friendly conduct! This, of course, does not mean I am any less of a dog person, I am just evolving in my beliefs. I now know both kinds of pets can be nice to have around! Who would have guessed it? (Full disclosure: Shawn's cats are the most dog-like cats ever.) Anyway, it made me realize that it's better to be less judgmental of others' preferences in general. Cats, dogs, it don't matter. I mean, my favorite animal is the giant squid, for goodness sake. What does that say about me? Can't we all just get along?
  • In other news, I recently watched an hour-long "Hunt for the Giant Squid" Nat Geo special. They really hook you into the show, leading you to believe that they've finally found one alive - the Holy Grail - but then they come up short again. Squid tease, if you will. Such are the let downs of a person with little to no social life.
  • If you were to ask me when it was that I last showered, it would take me a minute to come up with the right answer. And it would offend you to know what I deem acceptable leg hair length. (Real catch, I know.)
Here is a picture of me showered and out of the house
in case the rest of this post had you worried about my well-being.
  • When I go to yoga, I feel guilty. Sure the classes have all been great and the teachers are awesome, but hearing how you should "melt away the stress of the day" when the most stress you've encountered has been spilled-water-related (see above) makes you feel like a real asshole! This has been coupled with Funemployment Guilt I can't seem to shake. Like here I am, literally living my dream of having no commitments other than those I choose, and I feel terrible about it. (To over come this, I clean and talk out loud to cats. It's only helping a little.)
  • No, I still haven't lost any weight. This is because my mouth is letting down the whole team. I am currently looking into elective surgeries that require jaw wiring. (Just kidding, my unemployment health insurance sucks.)
  • I am never going back to work because there are tons of great things on TV during the day. Sure I could DVR them, but there's nothing quite like experiencing Ellen dancing up those stairs "live" each afternoon. Plus working out while watching The Doctors is a great incentive because former Bachelor Travis Stork = yum. Also, International House Hunters is just as good as every person told me it was. (Side note: After watching an episode about a blogger and her husband who moved to Florence, I totally stalked them to see if I could find their site and I did! Luckily Kate put up a post about being on the show because she totally googles people too! Now it makes me want to be on a reality show! As in one that will not morally blackball me from the family, does not entail someone yelling at me to be skinnier, or won't pit me against a bunch of D-cup, cat-fighting women with the competitive tenacity of The Careers. (A little joke for you Hunger Games fans!))
  • Two things were baked from scratch in one week! Who do I think I am? I am steadfastly not a baker; I hate following recipes. And even when I can muster the energy to focus that hard, where does that lead me? With a delicious batch of temptation staring me in the face? (Who am I kidding, it would be half of a batch considering I'd have already had my way with the batter.) Anyway, it has been fun cooking for other people again, especially since they help demolish what would otherwise haunt me until it was gone.  
  • One thing I made-and-then-over-the-course-of-the-day-accidentally-consumed-entirely-by-mysel;f was a half-recipe of this honey beer bread, which I made into muffins because - LOLZ - I thought they would be "good serving sizes," which of course means nothing if you eat them all anyway. Totally worth it though. (See above re: Need for Jaw Wiring.)  
  • Lately I have also been into beets in a big way. While it's an been ingredient I tend to order from a menu (or selected from my German work cantina), never had I cooked any on my own until recently. (Foil-pocket roasting method and microwave lazy method both worked well.) But after eating them, I noticed things were a little weird the next day. Am I dying? After doing a little research, I've learned that apparently I have a condition called Beeturia. Aka I pee pink. It seems I fall into the 10 to 15% of the population whose body can't break down the betacyanin pigment, which is what gives beets their "beet red" appearance. (Let's be honest, it's more of a magenta color.)  
Aren't you so glad reading that is what you chose to do with your life today? Please still be my friend.

And if you are the one person who is really into my brand of life insight, feel free to follow me on Twitter. Since I no longer have any non feline coworkers to talk to during the day, I've really been "blowing up" with my tweets lately. As in, sometimes, multiple times per week!

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