Wait, what? No, seriously. And it sucks.
You see, recently it dawned on me that I've had plenty of amazing first dates that left me feeling awesome. Then, sure enough, exactly when I was starting to feel confident that it was actually going somewhere, everything would fall apart.
Clockwork is a bitch!
Now that I have the time to marinate over pressing problems such as these, I have sketched out the common trajectory of my dating life so you can get the idea (plus, considering my wizard PowerPoint skills are my most revered professional trait - sadly not even joking - I might as well keep 'em busy).
Initially he and I seemed to be getting along so well! He thought I was so great! And then all of a sudden the sentiment flipped. Now he doesn't. (Here is the breakdown of The Fear.)
This seems to be a common problem for many of my friends too. The issue seems to be that we are just so damn likable at first that we literally have no where to go but down. We are charming, we are fun, we are fireworks. We will light up and dazzle that damn date!
But you know what? It's exhausting being that awesome. Eventually my first date sparkle will wear off and you just get me, more frazzle than razzle unfortunately.
(Which, considering I have a fairly healthy self-esteem, I am not afraid to tell you is still fun to be around*.)
Yet it doesn't seem to be enough.
So that leaves me with what? Slowly adding in my awesomeness a cup at a time? Like how you're supposed to pour in the oil while you're whisking the vinegar to make salad dressing. And unfortunately it involves a lot of hand-eye coordination that I am obviously lacking so I always make a big mess and it never turns out right.
Gah. Life is so hard.
And this blog post has been brought to you by: White Girl Problems, The Unemployed Humble Brag Quasi High Self Esteem Issue.
P dot S: If any of the guys I've gone on dates with reading (hi!) would care to share their thoughts on this, please feel free to leave a comment.
*Unless I am hungry and/or PMSing
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