Words With Friends

I think it's safe to say I'm doing a pretty decent job learning German. (Lie.) Just the other day I was taught how to say ladybug. Marienkäfe. But more importantly, I serve a role in helping my German friends practice their English. I am really good at this and prefer it way more than sitting in silence randomly saying broken sentences in the present tense.

So that is what I did on Friday night when I went to my friend Uli's apartment to cook dinner, catch up, and - most importantly - watch American TV. She and her boyfriend love Parks & Rec as much as I do and it was the perfect ending to a very long week.

I mean, come on.

But it was apparent that there were a few language barriers we needed to address. Earlier in the evening, I found out her boyfriend's last name is Käfe and OMG IF THEY HAVE A DAUGHTER SOMEDAY THEY MUST NAME HER MARIEN so her name can be Lady Bug!!! I told you my expanding vocabulary was coming in handy! I'm hilarious in all languages! And, I'm fairly certain they will at least consider this as an option because it's so amazing. My work here is done.

Where was I? Oh right. We started talking about funny kids names and Uli told me about a girl who was named Rosa Höschen. Aka "Pink Panties." Gahhh, 10000 x worse than Lady Bug. So I of course GLLL'd about this (Sidebar: GLLL is a noise/verb/noun my friend Keaton and I patented at some point during college, which can be used as a reaction to both extremely good or bad things), but Uli didn't understand my issue with the word. "What do you say then?" Um...underwear...underpants...anything but "panties". I tried explaining that the p-word was one of those words that everyone seems to disdain. That and "moist." (I'm sorry for evening typing that last one, GLLLLL.)

So for the rest of the night, any English word that came up in the show that she didn't like (e.g. "rager"), she announced she would put in her "panty drawer."

Which I thought was the funniest, most clever thing ever.

Except, of course, for Lady Bug.