At Least I Know It's Not My Cooking

I get asked about how writing this blog affects my dating life. Short story: It has not gone well lately. On Thursday I had my first 'that isn't my style' lecture from Red Flag Guy. Whatever.

Then on Friday TK was being shady. I called him out on it and was left with a "Read the blog this week..." text about how he didn't think he could handle it. I responded, "Fair enough. Glad to know it wasn't my cooking." Nothing back. [Insert mental I Told You So here.]

In hindsight, maybe I should have implored more caution when writing about the first guy with potential that I've met lately. But at the same time, I'm sorry I'm not sorry.

I'm of the belief that you might as well know what you're getting into with me, and the blog is a concentrated version of real life Rachel. Sometimes I do, write, and say awkward things. Sometimes I'm funny. Sometimes I'm insightful. Sometimes I'm crazy. I can be a handful. I have a big personality. All of this can be good. And all of this can cause problems. So basically, if you can't handle the blog, then you probably can't handle the real thing. And there's nothing wrong with realizing this sooner rather than later. I am impatient; I do not like to waste my time.

(Random note, but is it just me, or have you always wondered how it worked with Carrie's column in Sex and the City? Did guys read it and think she was insane? Because some of her articles were crazy...crazier than my posts!)

Casual dating with the blog is the hardest part. When I had a serious boyfriend, I had a better filter about what was bloggable and what was not. I took his feelings into consideration, and I asked permission about topics I knew he would have an issue with. (Like the time totally out of the blue when he told me that "if we had kids, they would be raised Jewish." Um, excuse me? Peter Pan thinks about procreating? Has hell frozen over? If so, can we go ice skating?)

So if I can find a guy willing to survive the initial gauntlet, then I believe I'll be able to have my cake and eat it too. (I mean, I'm obviously not the kind of girl who has cake sitting around that she's not eating.)

But it's not just the necessity of finding someone who is tolerant. I need someone who is supportive too. That was one of the best things about J (besides his incredible knack of ordering the best entrée). He was insistent that I had talent and pushed me to do more with it.

Granted since then I have failed to find any momentum in terms of accomplishing my goal to write a book, what with spending my time on my very consuming job and going to the gym to combat all that cake eating. Oh and then there's my new hobby of sabotaging potential relationships. Sigh.

However, even if I never make a cent from all this over-sharing,  I will still be glad I've been writing. It's cheaper than therapy, it lets my friends and family keep up with my life, and when I'm old and lame I can look back and think my god I sure was awesome. 

(Thank goodness that this recent rejection hasn't hampered my healthy self-esteem.)