Rachel Upshaw: What I Learned From The Derby

1) Fancy sorority alumni day parties where adults get dressed up - including my dad in a bow tie - are definitely a good reason to hang out in Austin! Viva la fiesta!

2) Judging a horse by its name is probably the best way to pick a winner. I think that goes for most things in life (especially nail polish).

3) As excited as I was to wear the giant hot pink and navy striped hat I bought in Denver, it was a severe impediment to any and all social interaction. It was also a sweat machine. But who am I to complain? To suffer for fashion is pretty much my burden in life (on days I actually go to the trouble to put on a bra or pants).

4) Silent auctions are really fun when you win stuff! Also, sometimes God works in mysterious ways. Like no one outbidding me on that haircut and highlights was probably a sign things are getting a little out of control. Or maybe that's just the conversation I have with my mother on a daily basis.

5) After seeing three mini horses fit in a mini-van (they were out front of the party), I am now convinced I must get my own Lil' Sebastian! Mom and dad, puh-lease!?!?!

6) Just because something is tiny doesn't mean you need to eat one million of them (don't worry I've moved on from the mini horse discussion). I'm looking at you adorable fried green tomato sliders on brioche buns.

7) I make the most uncomfortable banter with cater waiters imaginable. Seriously, what is my problem, do I want the guy passing around shrimp on white cheddar cheese grits to avoid me completely?

8) Mint Julips would be wayyyy better if there wasn't whiskey in them. I don't think that's avoidable, though, right?

9) Even though they are cumbersome and sweat-inducing, I still don't believe there are enough hat-required events in this country. Also, I miss talking about Kate Middleton and fascinators all the time. I wish there could be another royal wedding, don't you?

10) My dream Bachelorette Party would be going to the Kentucky Derby with all my friends and wearing fancy hats. In this dream, I am also made of moneys. (Or - and I'm just brain storming here - maybe we could do a Derby-themed bachelorette where the strippers dress up like jockeys?)