You are on cloud nine. You just left your date with a hot girl that you can’t wait to tell your buddies about. She made you laugh with her stories about going to the #1 party school, she offered to pay for a round of beers, and she said those magic words before walking to her apartment “We should do this again.”
"We should do this again."
Probably the third most evil 5-word sentence in the English language. Coming in first and second are obviously: “I’m not ready to date” and “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Guys, when a girl is on a first date she starts the night by creating a T-chart in her head with pros on one side and cons on the other. Every new fact you present about yourself she inputs into this handy-dandy rejection-calculator-slash-potential-lives-together-planner. It goes a little something like this:
She thinks: “PRO! Reasoning: Fingers crossed he gets another this year and me and my girlfriends will have a place to party away from all of the GD summer interns in the city!” (giggle, giggle)
You say: “I’ve been thinking about moving out of Manhattan when my lease is up in 3 months. I’m so sick of the city life.”
She thinks: “CON! Reasoning: Do you really think I’m going to be traveling an hour and a half in the morning to get to work?” (pouty face)
Comprehende?
Depending on her final T-chart she will either actually try to make real concrete plans in the future aka “there’s this brunch place on 12th street I’ve been dying to try” or she’ll give you the ol’ ambiguous “We should do this again.”
Your retaliation move?
Delete her number.
Well actually write down the last 4 digits of her phone number, delete her number, and then wait for her to contact you. (Write down the last 4 digits so if she does text you you’ll know it’s her, duh.)
I’m going to assume that if you do get a First Contact After the First Date, it will go a little something like this: “Omg I just watched an episode of True Blood! So good and sort of scary! J ) This will stir flashbacks of you saying that this was your favorite new show and you can then have the warm fuzzies because she wasted an hour of her life watching some stupid vampires prance around (aka she wants to see you again.)
However if you don’t get that text, remember this: you made the initial plans so you need to wait for her to contact you for round deux. Believe you me, women are sneaky creatures. If we are interested, we will find a way to worm ourselves into your life. You really don’t have to do much, except…
KNOW WHEN TO THROW IN THE TOWEL.
This way even if we don’t ever speak to you again, we won’t have forever branded you as “that psycho who left 2 voicemails.”
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Do not ever do any of the following (which you wouldn’t of course because you deleted her number, RIGHT?)
- Send an ‘I miss you’ text
- CALL DURING WORK HOURS! (This will cause spouts of rage)
- CALL AT BEDTIME HOURS! (Fire from my eyes!)
- I stress that you don’t call but if you MUST the best time is between 7:45 and 8:30.
- Send a Facebook message. Cool people don’t check their Facebook inboxes (well I don’t at least…130 unread messages…what upp)
If you don’t hear from the girl within 3 days, it’s time to make a bro date and meet some new ladies. If you do hear from her (and you made zero First Contact After the First Date), freaking awesome! You might not be the total loser that we all thought you were!
REMEMBER THIS:
Be smart about dating. There’s no point in going on multiple dates with someone where there isn’t mutual attraction. Don’t be scared of weeding people out and don’t let your heart get broken if you are dissed after a first date. Just be glad it wasn’t after your 5th!
Always strive for an equal amount of creepiness. If one part of the party is too creepy only bad things will come. If you are equally creepy then try not to fuck things up (and I’m super jealous of you.)
Peace.
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