Next Season of Rachel-orette

After an on-again-off-again relationship with The Bachelor, I embraced this season with open arms. Blame it on The BFF's new acceptance for crap TV, but we became mildly obsessed (Team Emily). 

My camera is being lame and won't let me upload pics.
Go ahead and assume our Bachelor finale was as classy as this.

Like maybe I was so obsessed that I bought some long-stem red roses to hand out to our friends who came to watch the finale. Because I secretly want to be Chris Harrison.

But since I can't really do that (because duh no one can do what he does but him, it's his gift) I have a new one-day obsession: Applying to be on the show.

I'm a realist and understand that there are obviously some cons to this genius plan.

Read the above in Brad's accent. Haunting, right?

(As a realist, I also recognize I'm super lazy and the chances of me actually doing this are not high. But you never know with me, I am full of surprises, even for myself.)

Let's break it down:

Pro:

• I could meet the love of my life. Woo. Clearly I'm having no luck with that in New York, so I'm willing to try a new alternative method. Like, you know, national TV. And based on last night's muy awkward reunion show slash therapy session, I have a 1 in 20 chance of marrying him! 
• Speaking of, if we did get married, ABC would totally pay for a super sick wedding. And then Chris Harrison could officiate. Amazing.
• If I'm not The One but I do muster up the ability to be charming, then maybe I could be chosen as the next Bachelorette. Me and 25 guys? I think we all know that's my ultimate dream.
• No matter what happens on the show, I'm pretty sure that being a contestant gets you into some weird Bachelor club where you meet a lot of new friends (and hottie rejects from previous Bachelorette seasons). Sounds kind of fun (in a moderately trashy way or really really trashy if you go on Bachelor Pad).
• Consolation prize: Great blog material.

Con: 

Of course the biggest con
is that I would be soooo
awkward on camera.



• I am a fairly competitive Crazy Girl. I cannot imagine this ending in my favor. (Unlimited booze will not be my ally).
• I do not look cute when I cry. 
• I have a healthy self-esteem and know I bring a lot to the table, but what I bring is not in my bathing suit top. So unless they have Bachelor Winter/Anti-Pool Party Edition, I'm screwed.
• IAAB and going to hell, but dayum Chantal, does O stand for "Open your mouth and eat your feelings?" Also  I'm 100% sure that would be me. Freshman Bachelor 15 here we come.
• General shame and embarrassment for those who know me. 

So if you're keeping track, it definitely seems like a great idea. Plus, while doing a little research today, I found out they're having a NYC casting call in June.

Please come with me.