This Is Unacceptable

After ten months of apartment bliss, it seems our luck might be running out.

Sure we've had our issues with the building - like for example how our buzzer has never (and seems will never) work, forcing us to run down five flights of stairs to let people in..yeah, it's annoying - but nothing we can't deal with.

And, okay, the fact that someone in the building next door thinks it's totally acceptable to hang a wind chime outside their window - ding. ding. ding! (we haven't heard it in months thanks to the ambient noise of our AC and fans. But don't worry, it's back. Ding!) - isn't what I particularly enjoy.

But now we have a much bigger issue than either of those. Our new neighbors. They're terrible.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Rachel and The BFF sure do have a lot of rage issues at home!" And you're totally right. But this time it's not our fault. It's Josh and Raquel's.

Our building is really small, only two apartments per floor. When we moved in, two girls lived across the hall. Rarely did we see them, but when we did, it was pleasant. Sure they ignored our house warming party invite (their loss), but they were quiet and clean so it was fine.

They moved out a few months ago and were quickly replaced. The first issue with Josh and Raquel (must be said with a bitchy voice and accompanying eye rolling) was that they felt it was totally acceptable to stack up a mound of card board boxes (with their names on them, that's how we knew to channel the hate accordingly) in front of their door.

Small problem. Their door is at the top of the stairs and directly in front of where we have to go to our apartment. This happened multiple times during their first few weeks, typically coinciding with a weekend night where some of us might have been struggling up the aforementioned five flights of stairs in heels while lacking certain motor skills. Not cool.

But that passed. The thing that causes me to curse their names daily - Josh and Raquel! - is the bicycle they have chained to the hallway banister. Because when there is a hallway approximately three fight wide, obviously a bicycle belongs there. Good thing we're not Brandi and Ruby! They might not be able to make it past. (IAAB!! and OMG WE SAW THEM ON SUNDAY!! AHHHH WE CAN'T ESCAPE!!)

Where was I? Oh right, that damn bicycle.

But physical barriers can eventually become less of a burden. Noise and/or smell barriers? Uh uh. Those are two of my favorite senses!

On Friday night, The BFF and I stayed in (because we're grandmas?) and so did Josh and Raquel. But it wasn't just them. Unfortunately it seems that within their apartment, there is some sort of a Frat Boy Vortex, complete with immature hooligans (seriously, "hooligans," am I 100?) who do not know anything about inside voices.

Granted, I get that it was during a baseball playoff game, but good lord screaming at the top of your lungs even during the boring parts (by that I mean 95%, it is baseball after all, hey-ohhh), is unacceptable.

The worst part? It happened again the next day! The Yankees better freakin' lose ASAP for the sake of my eardrums (plus, go Rangers!).

And, oh, don't even get me started on the smell. You know when you get a whiff of something that immediately takes you back to a previous point in your life? Stale beer nostalgia? I've moved on.