Wanted: The Perfect Wing(wo)man

Okay before I even get started, I get it, we’re women. But I don’t love the phrase ‘wingwoman’ - I like wingman, and I don’t really consider it gender specific. So yeah, we’re sticking with wingman.

I think it’s safe to say only a select few people can pull off the random solo pick-ups, especially out at night. To do it well, a person needs to have a certain amount of charismatic chemistry and air of not really giving a shit. I am not one of those people.

I’m totally independent and self-sufficient in most areas of my life, but when it comes to going out to meet guys, I’m sorry I’m not doing that alone. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough go-to wingmen on the roster. And it is really stifling my social life.

Awhile ago I talked about the importance of building a strong dating roster. The same is true for wingmen. Unfortunately for me, most of my close friends in the city have boyfriends. Yes I know how incredibly selfish that is to say, but let's just be honest - having a boyfriend makes you lame (except, when you’re the one with the boyfriend, you’re not lame, you’re happy). I’m allowed to say it, though, because in college, when I had a bevy of great single friends to go out with, I was the one with the boyfriend. And I was la-me.

FML.

It’s not that I mind staying in sometimes – I am the queen of lazy. But when a night comes around that I would love to get all dolled up and flirt with some boys - and I can’t find one friend to go with – that’s sad.

The BFF, when she’s not with her BFJO (FJO boyfriend) or acting like a super lame grandma (this is meant as no offense to my actually very awesome grandma!), can make a pretty good wingman. Except that she is automatically judgmental of all guys I meet. Whenever I (hopefully) get proposed to someday, the guy better be smart enough to ask my parents AND The BFF for permission.

My other friends in the city do a good job serving the position when they can. But I need a go-to, single wingman with similar dating interests. And no, I’m definitely not going to do anything as creepy as this guy (I just have to say I do not understand the concept of a guy with a girl wingman. Why would a girl hit on a guy if he was with a girl? The logic doesn’t really register with me).

Unfortunately it’s pretty hard to make girl friends in the city. The only thing harder is meeting platonic guy friends – I have long since given up on that. Occasionally I will see girls at the gym, shopping or even on the subway and I think to myself, “She is cute, I love that [insert object I might like]! I bet we could be friends!” But how do you follow through?

So here is my plea:

Wanted: Wingman
Qualifications: Dating objectives align with MPD, enjoys getting dressed up to go out in MPD, thinks I’m funny, not totally wild/crazy but likes to have a good time, not socially awkward but enough awkward that we get along
Start date: Immediately
Compensation: I will provide the pre-game drinks

Please send cover letter and resume in the body of an email. No attachments!