Honeymoon in Prague

What sealed the deal on Ashley coming to visit was a gchat conversation about my desire to spend a weekend in Prague. She wanted to come too! How cool would that be? It would be awesome! OMG let's do it! And let me tell you, it was awesome.

The trip started off with us finding ourselves assigned to a train compartment with three stoic-looking Germans. We did our best to be mindful of ear pollution, which lasted approximately 10 minutes until I opened up my bottle of mineralwasser mit gas (aka sparkling water) and it exploded everywhere. This turned out to be the most hilarious thing ever for the middle-aged guy next to me. Nothing like getting soaking wet to break the ice. After that, much like my carbonated beverage, I too could no longer be contained, and Ashley and I chatted incessantly, which he also seemed to find very amusing. And to think I was worried about Germans liking my loud, obnoxious American personality! After polishing off an entire bag of nacho cheese Bugels (yes they sell Bugels here! and yes I justify eating crap while traveling no matter where in the world I am!), we admired the beautiful German countryside from the window. A short four and a half hours later, we were in Prague.

Pre-escalator near-death experience, hence the excitement

After a harrowing incident on the scariest escalator of my life (at one point Ashley was worried I might plummet to my death because I am extremely clumsy and carrying three bags did not help my center of gravity), a ride on the Prague subway that made us realize that New York's is really the dirtiest in the world, and getting spooked by a giant statue in a park, we finally made it to our hostel.

We were checked in by a middle-aged guy, who seemed mute at first, but quickly turned into the most helpful person ever. We never did catch his name so we decided to call him Sam. He totally looked like a Sam. Anyway, Sam gave us a map which he proceeded to scribble all over. See this, eat here, shop there, don't exchange your money anywhere. Based on all the things we wanted to do the next morning, we opted to stay in and go to bed early. See sometimes we act responsibly!

We were out the door by 9am and stopped by Sam's recommended Cafe Louvre for breakfast. Apparently it's been around since 1902 and Albert Einstein used to go there. Historic! Ashley and I both ordered the French breakfast which came with a mushroom omelet, croissant and a plate of cheeses, some thinly sliced and a few triangles of a different variety that looked like they'd just melt in your mouth. Having just seen Butterkäse (butter cheese) in the supermarket, the words "Wow this Buttercheese really tastes like butter!" had no sooner come out of my mouth when I realized, no wait...I have just taken a healthy-sized bite of actual butter. I can only guess the same thing would have happened to Einstein.

Here's a tip: Maybe don't serve your butter so cheese-like.

After our hearty breakfast, we walked through Old Town to the Charles Bridge. Loved it. All of it. Okay maybe not all the tourists, but really, it's so beautiful. We were lucky enough to have perfect weather (I don't know about you, but I deem perfect weather to be 70 with blue skies).

See what I mean about the blue skies?

These guys helped with the ambiance.

As you can see, my photography is getting pretty 'artsy'

After we'd crossed the bridge, we headed toward the "castle". Not to sound like a total jackass, but I'm pretty sure the castle itself is really just a cathedral, and that's fine and all, but I'll be honest, I was hoping for a little something more...regal. Unless I missed something. I mean, I did accidentally eat a wedge of butter so clearly I was not on my A-game during this little adventure.

Also, while we were in the actual cathedral, an Asian guy came up to us and asked if we would be in a picture with him, proving that Asians will in fact take pictures of anything! 'Two tall American girls with dirty hair? Picture!" I decided it was only fitting to throw the obligatory peace sign because why not. Sadly we did not capture this on our own camera. Sigh.

Let's get our facts straight: What are you?

Changing of the guards. Only there to trick you into thinking it's a castle.

All of these people are confused. "We thought this was a castle???"

Okay, I will stop complaining. Like I said, the view was beautiful. Here are some other pictures taken from atop the hill.

I was kind of interested in riding in that hot air balloon, but I was still recovering from my escalator incident.

Finally someone to take solo shots of me!

It looks a little like Florence, no?

Just the two of us. We can make it if we try.

I have approximately 100 candids of Ashley and it makes me feel only a little creepy.

We Are The Same Person Example #10001:

We both thought this picture idea was hilarious.

Some nice, older American tourists took this picture. "No girls, don't use your fake picture smiles. Smile for real!" Hence why we look so confused.

Oh, you want to see more pictures? It's your lucky day! That was just the first few hours! From there we headed back to Old Town to wander around. Meandering through a city happens to be my favorite tourist activity because the idea of committing to a tour is unfathomable. I mean, what happens if I need to stop for ice cream!? What about if I see the most perfect photo op, like the one below? What am I supposed to do then, just keep on walking like the most awkward couple ever isn't putting on the most horrific public display of affection?

In hindsight, I really should have caught this on video. There was a lot of movement going on that doesn't come through in print.

This is a square. It was really pretty but we were both more concerned with finding the WC so I can't really tell you anything about it, like, for instance, its name.

Prague is really beautiful because it has so many different types of architecture. That's all I know.

Obligatory outdoor market food shot. I am a blogger after all.

All that walking made us thirsty so on our way back to the hostel we stopped at Prague's "oldest" brewery and infamous tourist trap U Fleku. We were seated less than 30 seconds when a guy came around and passing out some sort of 'famous' Czech liquor that tasted like goldless Gold Schlager. In most instances when someone hands you something that you did not request, it is complimentary. This was obviously not the case [See above: Legendary scam]. When we got the bill, we saw an additional 120 CZK listed on it. Since converting Czech koruna to Euros to Dollars is virtually impossible (read: not worth my time) I have no idea how much the damage was. Probably a million dollhairs. Oh well, you live and you learn and you drink gross unnecessary shots at 4pm.

The accordion player in the background was the best part.

After that we went back to the hostel to shower and relax.

Our hostel: A diamond in the rough. It made me miss my NYC East Village apartment.

Re-energized, we went to a cute Italian restaurant we had seen around the corner.

 'Wow these pictures are going to look just like a honeymoon Facebook album'

After consuming some delicious homemade pasta (the idea of scouting out traditional Czech food was not appealing), we went home to change for da' club. We had read about Karlova Lazne, the "biggest night club in Europe," and figured we might as well check it out. "Five floors, each with a different theme and music variety, for the price of one club!!!!!" How could we resist?

There will be no pictures posted of this portion of the trip for the same reason I don't photograph myself right out of the shower: I do not look good with wet hair. It was sweaty to say the least. The fog machines didn't help, but the real culprit was our aggressive dancing. I don't want to say we were the most popular girls there, but we were probably the most popular girls there. Dancing on a ledge overlooking a crowd might have helped. What? I promise it was sort of classy. Anyway, the multi-floor set-up was actually pretty perfect for us. Get creeped out by guys in one area, move on to the next!

The night culminated when our new clan of Belgian boys intersected with our previous floor's Italian pals. Aww, seeing a bunch of 20 year old Euro undergrads try and win your attention is pretty adorable. "Those guys are such losers!" Aw, sweetie, you're all losers. Just kidding, they were adorable. Which is why I felt bad when we left the beers they bought us and snuck out to head to bed.

We left for Berlin the next morning, and we both agreed: All in all it was a great honeymoon adventure.