Pretty Close to Perfection

I'm going to miss these pals.

After being gone for two weekends in a row and coming back to a busy week, I was excited to have a relaxing few days to check off some to-do items that needed to be completed before I leave.

Which is precisely why I organized an all you can sushi/sake bomb dinner with some of my favorite girlfriends. Because sometimes life seems to easy and I'm all "maybe I should run a bunch of errands really hungover tomorrow!" 

Luckily, though, that was not the case. So it was with much enthusiasm that I woke up and dragged myself crosstown to TJ Maxx to shop for suitcases. Before noon. Big fat gold star. I was sort of under the impression that suitcases were maybe like five dollhairs or something. This, however, does not seem to be the case, leading me to drop more money than I had planned on additional "adult items" (aka boring things, not like adult diapers or something, just to clarify).

These gals too.

There is just really nothing more fun than being faced with tons of decision-making (ZOMG why are there so many choices? And almost all are the same color scheme?) while trying to catch up with your mother on the phone who is giving you a really short window to go through all the details you learned about your upcoming move in two weeks (ZOMG!?) while you're simultaneously pacing around frantically because oh crap that giant iced coffee you downed on the way has kicked in.

Eeek.

So yeah, that's how I started my day. Like an adult. Or something. (I ended up buying these bad boys because in my head they seemed kind of distinguished and maybe I'll have them forever or something? Like an investment? Please note I am making a weird face while typing something so lame. I hope you are reciprocating with something equally eye-rollish while reading it.)

After that, in an attempt to not waste all the "investment" $$$ I've spent on Groupon/Lifebooker/Living Social deals, I went to get a microderm abrasion and a haircut. (For .5 seconds I made a big fuss about how I was going to cut my hair short again a la Jennifer Anniston's new long bob. Spoiler alert: My hair looks exactly the same as it did before. Sigh of relief for indecision.)

That night, after walking approximately 100 miles during the day (that's considered working out, hopefully), I met up with a certain someone who has since re-entered my life and who knows what is really going on with that, I am breezy and leaving soon so whatever, and went to said guy's friend's house for a bbq. (While texting with another guy, I literally said "I'm at a person's bbq, not sure if I'm going out after." He responded "oh a person :) " ...apparently my total lack of traceable details and/or pronouns was suspicious?)

Sunday I made a last ditch effort to maintain my "tan" and laid out along the Hudson river with Miss M. Apparently my skin had already forgot about the "tan" I got in Austin, so instead of getting nice and brown, I am sort of iridescent pink. Which is totally fine. Because at this point, much like my "relationship" with aforementioned guy, whatever. I am leaving. In 10 days. There is really no point in trying.

I wrapped up the weekend with something I've been wanting to do for a long time. I bought Tina Fey's Bossypants on my iPad. I almost finished it in one sitting. (Instead of, you know, learning German. What is my problem?!)

My Review:

I can honestly say, without a doubt, there's no way I can ever meet her in person. Do you remember that scene in Jurassic Park where the little boy goes up to Dr. Grant and starts rattling off about his book, and Dr. Grant is like 'oh lord why do weirdo children love me?!' and the little boy doesn't get the hint and follows him into the car?

That's more or less the basic idea of what would happen if Tina and I were to interact. I mean, just meeting Grizz & Dot Com proved to incredibly embarrassing. I would probably cry. I might tell her about my secret fantasy of having a boozy brunch with her and Amy Poehler, where one of them starts singing "We're the three best friends." And then we giggle about Alec, because, I mean, that guy, c'mon. Oh and then they decide to set me up with Jason Segel, because, obv we are soulmates, and they probably know him because funny people hang out together? It just makes sense. Think about all the great double triple dates we could go on! It's going to be the best!!!!!!!!!!

[.....Back to reality.]

That is a long way of saying that I like her writing and her storytelling.

Anyway, all in all, great second-to-last weekend.

OH PS: One might call me a 'fro yo connoisseur' - which is a nice way to say "you're fat" - so you should problem listen up -I tried one of the best things I've had in ages - Pinkberry Salted Caramel. Get the salt. Seriously. Done. Let me know if you need my email address so you can write me a thank you note for rocking your world.