A Week From Today

A week from today I'll be waking up in my Berlin apartment for the first time. Holy crap.

Everyone keeps asking me, "Are you scared?"

Um, duh?

But, really, though, the fear isn't paralyzing. Maybe when it comes time for my flight next Friday it will embed itself in my bones, but for now, I'm just doing what I can to keep my head above water. And for some reason that seems to entail spending money and making a lot of unnecessary trips to TJ Maxx.

It's sort of like when I moved to New York. Except then I wasn't so much worried about stocking up on lint rollers because I figured they'd probably sell those in New York. Not that Germany is some uncivilized society that doesn't support the removal of lint, but we didn't cover how to say "Where are the lint rollers?" in my five-week beginner class. So you can understand my fear, right? Right?

The move from New York was hard. I was giving up a life-long security blanket of being surrounded by family and friends to move to the Great Unknown. I left behind a supportive, wonderful boyfriend and faced singlehood in a concrete jungle where dreams are made of. And, coincidentally, a lot of dreams are crushed. Especially if you're an idiot who is not aware of the mechanisms of casual dating. It was essentially going from one world to another.

And honestly it was the best decision I ever made. I wouldn't trade all my New York adventures for anything (I would, however, trade the hangovers that followed many of them, ugh). Living here has proven that I can handle whatever comes my way.

I can tell a cab driver which way to get to the airport (Williamsburg bridge!!). I know exactly where to stand in the subway to get let off at my stop (hello pre-walking). I am so jaded-looking that the fundraisers harassing people on the street don't even bother trying to talk to me. I am, what I would consider, a New Yorker. (This might offend people who are "from" New York or have lived here a decade plus, but once you get the main things down that enable you to survive then I think you slowly start the transition process. There are steps. Like in Karate belts or something. I'd say I'm a blue belt. I don't really know what that means exactly, it's just my favorite color. It matches my eyes.)

Where was I? Oh right, so at this point, three and a half years later, while the worry of the unknown still palpitates my heart, I know I will survive. I'm excited to get to know a new city. The idea of making new friends in far away places makes me giddy. And travel, swoon, oh dear sweet travel, I can't wait to make you mine.

Leaving New York is hard. You have no idea. But at least I have a new lint roller.

And I assume that means everything will be fine.