I’ve really embraced the cougar trend for awhile now. I mean, look at the long accepted tendency for successful, older men to find companionship with hot, young wives/girlfriends. There’s something to it.
So I’ve decided that if I end up single and middle-aged, hell yes I’m going to be a cougar.
Since I’ve made this commitment to my future, I want to be ready for it. I’m officially a Cougar-in-Training. Might as well explore the terrain a little, see how it goes, get a leg up on my cougar competition - it is fairly trendy after all - the market’s going to be saturated by the time my age group is in our cougar prime.
While people may give me a hard time for attempting this training at the premature-cougar age of 24, I think it’s a fine idea. Obviously you have to take into account that the typical 10+ years cougar ratio won’t be kosher, but if we’re just judging by younger men, I have a plenty of eligible guys, cougar bait if you will, out there waiting for me. NYU is just a few blocks away. Roar.
It’s not just about practice, though. Quality cougar bait does not come cheap. Do you think Madonna landed that hot young Brazilian boy-toy because of her weird faux-British personality and scary arm muscles? No. It is in fact all about the Benjamins.
So since I most likely will not be an international pop icon in my 50s, I think I should probably set up my cougar fund soon, something with a good interest rate. I learned in by business foundations finance class that it’s all about the compound interest built over many years. Good thing I’m putting my college degree to work.
A 401(k)? No. A 401(cougar) is what I need. I wonder if I could get a corporate match?
PS My middle school mascot was the cougar, how fortuitous.
No comments:
Post a Comment