Dating on the MTA Time Table

Timing is half the battle. I constantly listen to friends (and myself) complain about meeting great guys only to have both people be consistently booked up so there is no opportune time for schedules to overlap.

The end of the summer is busy for everyone. Money is tight. You’re lazy. You have better things to do. You have different priorities. Things keep getting pushed back.

Dates get relegated to weeks in advance only to get re-scheduled further into the future. Even if things do work out to meet up occasionally, it’s so sporadic that nothing ever really gels. There is no forward momentum.

Eventually it turns into a hassle. Negotiations stall. Things between you either get relegated to the Closed file, or maybe in the queue of random off-hand texting with no expectation that any plans will ever materialize.

I am a planner so this purgatory.


Does this sound familiar? It’s a little like reading about the long-suffering problems of the MTA. For those of you who are not familiar with the bureaucratic agony that is the Metropolitan Transit Authority, it is the most poorly and inefficiently run organization in the history of the world.

It has plenty of problems, just like dating in the city.

So I ask - what is a harder task to accomplish in Manhattan - completing a new subway line or finding a boyfriend?

It’s a toss up.

I’m pretty sure I’m on track to find a serious relationship about the time the long-awaited 2nd Avenue subway line opens up.

The line, which was first mentioned in 1920, is promised soon!



2015. Excellent news indeed...

Match.Mom – Why There’s a Chance I Could End Up with an Arranged Marriage

A recap of my life growing up:
Mom: Rachel, that guy over there is really cute, let’s go talk to him.
Me: No, Mom, I don’t want you to be my wingman.

Fast forward to present day:

My parents just came to visit me in New York, and we had a fantastic time. One of my mom’s favorite activities while she was here was playing a little game called, “Hey Rachel, that guy is checking you out.”

Being slightly oblivious/ambivalent, I don’t typically pick up on that all the time on my own - but luckily Mom was here to do it for me! Awkward.

Now that she’s back in Austin, I guess we can continue with our typical guy-related conversations that go a little something exactly like this:

Me: I met a cute guy last night.
Mom: How tall is he?
Mom: How does he feel about moving to Austin?
Me: I don't even know his last name, so somehow his height and future living preferences didn't come up...

or

Mom: Hey my friend has a cute, tall son.
Me: Does he live in Texas?
Mom: Yes
Me: That does me no good...but thanks?
Mom: I'm just letting you know.

Are we starting to sense a pattern here?

Thinking that maybe it was just her, a new gem was added to the mix when one of HER friends PUBLICLY stated on Facebook that she would fix me up with her son after looking at our NYC photos.

My mom's response? “Send his info to Match.MOM.”

This is my life.

A Major Reason Why I Probably Can’t be in a Relationship

At the moment I can’t commit to anything. I want a dog more than anything, but I know there is no way I can handle that sort of responsibility. Instead I will be resigned to lurking creepily outside of dog parks. Awkward.

I haven’t been able to commit to a co-ed beer league sports team. Once a week (or more!)? Ha. Do you want me to go ahead and change my name and open a joint checking account while I’m at it? I did recently get recruited for a team, though, but thank goodness I’m an alternate. Baby steps.

At the beginning of the summer, my sweet grandma generously sent me money to get my hair highlighted. After attempting to make a salon appointment, I started to freak out about the inconvenient maintenance schedule – too much required commitment! So instead I used the money toward a new Tory Burch purse – a good purch. so I don’t feel like it was given in vain. Sorry, Dolo, but it’s really cute.

I’m hoping this is just a stage.

I Don’t Want to Spend the Rest of My Life Saying We Met at ‘Da Club

I’ve always appreciated the story of a good ‘meet cute’ as they say in Hollywood – a couple’s first encounter. Something about the kismet from a unique story has always seemed so romantic.

With the last few guys I’ve dated, I have had fairly good answers to the too-be-expected, “How did you too meet” inquiry. Before the classic Lure of the Lobster Halloween incident there was the college boyfriend who I got to know during a first-semester workout class at the U.T. gym. “We met in P.E.” always sufficed as a good story since he clearly had to really like me for me since I was dripping with sweat, and not in a sexy way.

I can’t help it now, though, when quasi searching for a serious relationship, to insist on wanting to date someone I meet in an exceptional way. I would much prefer a, "He stuck his hand through the closing subway doors to give me his business card,” to a, “I met him at Tenjune,” not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Unfortunately I spend substantially more time gussying up for a night in Meatpacking than I do for any of my trips on the subway. Such is life...I will probably die alone.