In sixth grade I had a crush on a boy named John who was in my Language Arts class. Oh those were the days before it turned into English. Anyway, one day John got a haircut - a terrible, too-short monstrosity - and that was the end of my crush.And that was the beginning of the Dealbreaker Haircut.
From the first guy I dated until present day, I always dread the phrase, "I'm getting my haircut today."
Nooooooooooooooooo.
This could be based on a former boyfriend insistence on "getting his money's worth" at a barber shop that couldn't even cut its way to an acceptable style if their lives depended on it.
I've been so scarred by post-haircut appearances that I can no longer feign excitement.
"Ohhhh, you're getting your haircut? DON'T LET THEM CUT IT TOO SHORT!"
There is just something awkward about that just-cut haircut look, but the real kicker is when a guy gets a disastrous major haircut.
Now I'm not going to say I'm so shallow that I would break up with a guy due to a poor follicle decision...but I definitely might stop liking a guy I had a crush on based on it.
To give you a visual of the ultimate haircut dealbreaker, watch this gem - My New Haircut. It is a three minute documentary depicting the exact guys I try very hard to avoid in this city.
[Note: Dear Jersey, you're probably vain enough to think this post is about you. Well, you're sort of right. It was def inspired by the new look you're sporting, one that involved buzzers and poor decision making. But it's only hair, it will grow back :)]
Since I've been so busy at work, and have not ventured to your floor (aside from a glorious 3 hour meeting on Friday afternoon) I hadn't witnessed the new haircut - until I ran into 'Jersey' yesterday afternoon and didn't even recognize him. Whoa! Nice one ... as was the story that went along with it. Ha.
ReplyDeleteDammit all. I feel a need to stand up for myself here... Instead, I will simply say this: I am in the process of bringing back the handle-bar mustache.
ReplyDeleteThe less I look the crowd at Turtle Bar, Galway Hooker, or any of the other jackasses I see wandering around this town, the better. And yes, I have been made fun of on this site for my outfits, naivety, and overall appearance, and all I can say here is this... There are indeed well dressed, well groomed men out there who are polite, caring, respected, and that everyone loves. And if you want to end up with TIGER WOODS too, I wish you the best of luck ;)
Avoid the sheep. At all coasts. The only thing worse than marrying a professional athlete is marrying a NYC man that wishes he was a professional athlete. You get the same problems, just less money and sympathy.
Buyer beware.
Hugs, Not Drugs,
Jersey.