The M Word

In the last year my peers and I have crossed into marriage territory. Well, not literally for most of us, but the topic of marriage is now a real, timely "thing." Any quick browse on Facebook documents another person taking the leap.

It's so weird. Becoming an adult just sort of sneaks up on you. Last time I checked, we were talking about who asked who to the middle school dance.

Anyway, I just got an adorable, glittery Mr & Mrs. engagement party invitation in the mail. Being a thousand miles away with limited vacay time and plane fare funds has unfortunately severely restricted my partcipation in friends' pre-wedding festivities.

Although I'm not physically there, it's still a reminder of a world I have one leg in while the rest of my body is in a different time zone. A time zone that thinks if you're under thirty and married it might be due to some sort of child bride scenario. Like whenever I mention another friend from home has gotten engaged, older coworkers always slip a "But you're so young!" comment in there.

While I have a few more years until it's the main focus of my New York friends' agendas, the majority of guys I have dated fall in the big, fat middle of the almost-all-my-friends-are-married-slash-engaged category. As a side note, I would like to point out that it should have been more apparent that there might be a reason why they're the ones still single...

Anyway, both worlds I occupy are filling with marrieds. It's fine, I'm getting older, and I'm also associating with people who started life a little ahead of me. But part me still finds the idea of marriage so foreign. Part of me feels like the way my friends and I approach the topic is with the same curiosity and gossipy anticipation as when we started liking boys in the first place.

"Oh so and so, I bet you have a crush on him. When is he going to be your boyfriend?" Replace boyfriend with fiance/husband and we're still using the same script. After a few dates with a guy, I get at least a couple "Do you think this is going anywhere?" questions. I've even come to expect the totally premature "Could you see yourself marrying this guy" Q because, hey, I ask my friends the same unanswerable thing.

Our focus on the future should be expected, though, because it's our nature. We like long-term planning. Yes we might jump the gun a little, but at the heart of it, deep down inside, we're still excited by the same possibilities as we were in 7th grade. We love gossip, we love boys, we love love. And now we love weddings and marriage too. And cake.