Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Best Gift (And 10 Extra Lbs Gained) Ever

On Seinfeld, everyone knows the "code" to Elaine's vault of secrets is Schnapps. Just like everyone knows the way to my heart is food. And also puppies.

Anyway, this weekend J and I exchanged presents, a little Chrismukkah celebration if you will.

In the tradition of me giving him semi-selfish gifts (last year I got him Netflix, which he deemed "the best gift ever" seeing as how he loves movies...it was really more of just a gift that just made perfect sense) I got the two of us massages - no not couples massages - we can just go at the same time if we want. I also got him a super cute knitted hat with faux fur lining and ear flaps - at least accessories like this make winter seem more tolerable - an "old man" cardigan, and a lobster bottle-opener (duh).

What did he get me?

A box full of my FAVORITE Texas barbecue - Salt Lick - that "feeds 8." The same bbq I made my guy BFF slash Fake Husband venture with me to gorge on while I was home for Labor Day and mentioned here.

The bbq really has been the gift that keeps on giving. We shared it on Friday, I had some on Saturday [Note: A plate of sausage does not make for a good pre-workout snack, FYI], then we shared it with some equally-bbq-fanatical friends that night.

After meal #5 just now, J might have officially set the "Food is Love" bar so high it's impossible to beat.

So if you want to earn my love, go with puppies. Just throwing that out there.

Okay now please excuse me while I go pass out in a food coma again.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving-inspired Dating Memories

I just had a flashback to the start of my relationship during my junior year of high school, which began with a date the night before Thanksgiving.

We will refer to this guy as Baby Gums, because that's what The BFF still calls him. I'm not totally sure why? I guess he might have large gums and small teeth? Either way, he's actually pretty cute. But, that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, Baby Gums and I met through a shared journalism/yearbook class...obviously I'm so cool that I dated TWO guys I met through yearbook...

He finally asked me out right before the holidays, and he took me to a UT basketball game for our first date, which I assumed would also include eating.

Wrong.

When he picked me up around dinner time, he proceeded to excitedly tell me that he was in fact "fasting for Thanksgiving," his favorite holiday.

Fantastic.

Now, let's be honest, eating is one of my all-time favorite activities/interests and I'm not one to skip meals, but I tried to conform to his Thanksgiving-mindset. I too could bypass dinner in anticipation. I was fine.

Until the second quarter when I excused myself to go to the restroom, and by restroom, I mean the snack bar where I purchased and subsequently scarfed down a giant pretzel before returning to my seat. Because otherwise I might have died of starvation. Sometimes you have to censor your image a little at the beginning of a relationship, it's fine.

We went on to date for a few months until he broke up with me. At his house. Directly after my mom had just dropped me off.

Double fantastic.

Coincidentally we watched another UT basketball game on TV before he drove me home. Fact: not having a car or access to public transportation to escape post-getting dumped scenarios SUCKS.

In the end, though, I will say I won that relationship. Based on the fact that I made out with two of his friends (only partially out of spite), and went to prom with another one.

And this post would not be complete without me telling The Prom Story.

So when Baby Gums ended things with me I had a fairly strong suspicion it might have had to do with another girl. It did. Shocking. They started dating soon after and obviously planned on going to prom together as it was quickly approaching. Being fairly opportunistic, I realized that one of Baby Gum's best friends (who I had become friends with) was my best potential date option. Since he was fairly shy (read: afraid of girls, especially me and my powers of manipulation), I schemed my way into the role of his date...which included being part of Baby Gums' & Mrs. Baby Gums' group.

Suckers.

My date and I arrived at Baby Gums' house for group pictures.

My look for the evening: long red dress, curly dark brown hair half up, black shoes/accessories

Mrs. Baby Gums' look for the evening: long red dress, curly dark brown hair half up, black shoes/accessories

Update: My mom read this post and then scanned and sent me her fav prom photo - solo shot obv. Thanks, mommy!

We looked SO similar (although, let's be honest and humble, I looked better) that my other BFF from HS Shawn TRIED TO DANCE WITH HER thinking she was me.

Hahahhahaha. Awk-ward.

And that's the saga of Baby Gums. Maybe it would have turned out better  (i.e. I wouldn't have had to upstage his new GF at prom - IAAB) had he fed me dinner during that first date.

Food is the way to my heart.


Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!! Hook 'em Horns :)

And since no post would be complete without an available animals-in-costume photo, here you go: